#(( bless u anon thank u for this ))

[calmparticles]

?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".

[harukapologist]

Am I allowed to request some john and haruka platonic cuddles T^T

Oh my gosh yes absolutely you are allowed, in fact you are encouraged to request any p!0109 omgomg thank you so much for this!!! This made me so happy to draw, thank you thank you 😭💗💗💗

I am DELIGHTED that I wasn't the only one who thought of Haruka & John interactions. John is very protective of his little bro Haru

[theloveinc]

OKAY hear me out but touya WITH a job getting ready at your cute vanity and pink room. struggling to put up his cargo pants/ slacks with the belt, while running over to get his coat off of the fuzzy pink chair in the corner. he's forced to fix his hair and check if his face looks the least presentable in your mirror filled with polaroids before he goes out and it's SO funny to watch him do that omg. i'm gonna die

(pt. i!)

WAHHH mismatched socks, the elastic of his calvin kleins (that u bought him) peeking out at his backside; he nearly trips over his work bag that's waiting for him on the floor and practically slides right into your full-length mirror--you're really rooting for him and even though he wouldnt say it, he'd try to strangle himself if he lost his job for being late just one too many times--because he's rushing to get out the door.

you can hear him from the kitchen where you're putting together lunches (not for him specifically, but because you already make something for yourself, you might as well...you're welcome, touya), AND YES IT'S SO HARD not to laugh when the door bursts open and he's looking like a little fool with his black and white hair actually combed down and smudges around his eyes from trying + failing to get your eyeliner off of him.

(also, did he use your hairspray that was sitting on your vanity? maybe. okay, yes. though it's no surprise he knows where everything you own is lmfao)

he stills refuses to let you put things in a lunch box, but no way in HELL he's not shoving the wrapped sandwich and bento full of fruit into his bag before !!! kissing you goodbye!!!

it's truly like a dream come true 'coz even though part of him feels like a DOG having to work for the man, making you happy is what MAKES HIM HAPPY and being able to fill your (and now! his) room with more cute and pink things is his new favorite hobby...

(and even though he blushes like hell doing it, the next lunch date he's picking you up from, he's paying the whole table's bill in CASH and not taking no for an answer. makes him feel the best he has in a while. even though he's still eating everyone's leftovers lmao.)

slay the house down HOUSTON I'M DECEASED!!!!

[hungharrington]

i would uh.. like to put my own little menace!steve in bed thoughts out here.. they will make ZERO sense and will be all jumbly n gross but it’s like midnight n i have to be up at 6am so BE KIND <3

as someone who is 100% very shy/extra nervous at first, no noise, trying to mask facial expressions and hide parts of my body. this type of reader especially?? oh ho ho

menace!steve doubles as sorta loving!perv!steve. he can and will fantasise abt cumming on ur tummy and move his way up the best he can - still cumming - until he shoots some onto ur boobs as well. on his come down, all out of breath and smiling with his eyes closed, he can’t wait to open em and see ur blushy, shocked little face, and ropes across ur chest, across ur tummy, maybe he even dribbled some across ur pussy cus he didn’t time it right and shot a bit early (no complaints)

menace!steve who is all slow thrusting with his entire body, borderline begging u to take the big shirt off, he wants to see you all bare so bad.. he’s naked and skin on skin would feel so much better for u baby! steve who, when little noises do embarrassingly slip out, he lights up, copies em; he’ll nudge ur nose with his as ur eyes try and screw shut from embarrassment, his own eyebrows knit up in mocking and his pout mirroring the one he saw, all oh did that feel good sweetheart? oh, it felt so good right there, huh? look at me, look at me.. look at me, or im gonna make u cum.. right now.. so close to me, make u cum with my face so close to urs huh? with his hand trailing down towards ur clit threateningly (because the only thing more embarrassing than making noises like what u just made, would be cumming so quick and hard and probably very noticeably lmaoo)

menace!steve who notices that u like him beefy and hairy. imagine him laying in bed while ur getting ready, and he’s shirtless???? with the covers bunched over his hips, n he just busts out some little quip about how he’s been dreaming about u cumming on his chest so bad. wants to make u ride it, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to have ur pussy that close to his mouth without tugging u up onto his tongue. ur stood there with ur hair tie half done, frozen, bc he looks so nonchalant saying that with his huge biceps crossed over his chest.

menace Steve who wants to simultaneously cum inside u, suck it out, sloppily spit it down ur tits and into ur mouth and makeout, JUST AS MUCH as he’d want to cum inside and then not move. breeding kink menace Steve’s brain goes wee-woo-wee-woo empty when he sees u eyeing his cock when it leaks pre-cum. the man just cannot have his dick in ur mouth, he’s so serious he wants to make every drop count, but he also makes u want it so bad that whenever he gets the vibe that u just need it/need him, u come back into whatever room ur in to see him stripping. he’s so fucking coy abt it too, just shrugs and waves his hands for a second like duhh?? get with the program..

LMAOOO out of left field, but menace!steve who maybe does smthn mundane, like ur pipe breaks (i am NOT a plumber I don’t know what im talking abt), but while he’s down there, laid with his head in the cabinet tinkering around, he tries to role play a ‘oh no my pipes burst and oh? hunky plumber man came to fix it!’ porno scenario. but he doesn’t tell u. just works himself up and lets himself get so noticeably hard that ur like.. are u alright stevie?? n he just has to tell u to pls for the love of god ride him like he’s just some maintenance guy n ur just a hot babe who needs some good dick. take it from him - he’ll keep working (n if it’s a reader who like previously mentioned, isn’t at that point yet.. yea icl I’d do it. don’t judge me but if he’s all sighing and giving up like honey PLEASE take my dick out.. yeah 🫶)

menace!stevie who at every inconvenience, when his little princess is huffing and puffing abt something, rolls his eyes, tugs her under him like god okay babe, i hear you, u need eating out okayy i get it, need to let me kiss u down there for a bit as if he wasn’t the only one out of the two of u thinking that, but boy menace!steve?? can make an excuse out of ANYTHING. oh they gave u crinkle cut fries instead of french? his eyebrows raise as he sighs all dramatic, fully prepared to try n finger u in the diner booth. the dress ur trying on in the changing room doesn’t fit like u wish it would? he’s clicking his tongue, caressing ur hair back just to bend u over infront of the mirror, raring to go and dry hump. the reason??? he’s is. a menace. and kinda bitchy. but it fits.

(also, when ur making out and straddling him, he’d definitely break away, massive grin, just to tease u abt how he can feel that, yknow?? FEEL WHAT??? yknow.. ur heartbeat, baby? the grin is still there, head tilted down to look at u through his lashes. manhandles ur hips harder into his lap and u finally get what he means)

I WAS ALREADY SAVIN UR OTHER ASK TO COME BACK TO BUT HOLY FUCK I CANT ADD ANYTHING TO TOP ANY OF THIS

i’m also a no noise & quiet, ‘can i keep my shirt’ on babe and this felt like a direct ATTACK. steve trying to make his plumber porn fantasy to come true is peak steve ���� and i would fucking indeed. get his dick out and ride it while he fixed my pipes :)

[napping-sapphic]

Back massages that lead to straddling your hips and kissing you silly till we both fall asleep cuddling. Haha jk... Unless?

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Yall can’t just say things like this to me this is NEVER going to leave my brain now like i’m going to be thinking about this for the next three weeks💀💀

[earthtooz]

because of my rescue cats, and because Reo's rich, please think of this with me.

Reo wanted a pet, so he was given a cat. some high pedigree, beautiful, insanely expensive kitten from high breeding and luxurious fur. a beautiful proper 'mew' and very graceful. probably has a diamond studded collar or smth too.

enter, you: the love of Reo's life, whose cats come with none of that. the first time he meets your cat, your baby, it's a bit of class whiplash to his face. He didn't really think about how "top tier" his darling cat was, he basically thought "cat's a cat"

Until your cat, who's just a big, orange striped, kind of wonky looking cat you found on death's door after being abandoned with a broken back that was untreated and healed Wrong, torn up ears, health complications, can't jump, wobbles harshly as it walks, and sounds a bit like a broken honk instead of a meow.

For some reason Reo goes from down bad to down worse. Seeing you with this poster cat for 'mangy stray that's been kicked too many times' and proudly introducing him, like this is your greatest treasure, with far more lasting love than all the jewelry he's gifted you, makes him love you even more.

admittedly, i've been a little selfish bc i wanted to let this ask marinate itself in my inbox so i could cherish it forever and keep it in here when i inevitably respond to it... but it's time to share this thought with everyone :,((( more comments in tags anon !

no bc this thought is so... beautiful. the very clear divide between your lifestyles manifesting through the damn cats you own. that's not to say your situation is dire or anything along those lines, but anyone- compared to reo, could look far off. especially this cat that you are now holding in your arms.

he's in your apartment after coming back from a date, hoping just to hangout and watch a movie or something when he meets your cat. the purple-haired hasn't ever seen it before, only knowing that you got him from a shelter when it was around seven years old - older than most pet owners get their cats. it's... beat up to say the least, and reo frowns just thinking about what it must have gone through to end up with a partially scratched off ear, a limp, and as many health complications as you told reo about.

but clearly, none of the cat's complications matter when it mewls happily, brushing against your legs. it's with a coo that you pick it up, cradling it in your arms, showering it with undivided love and affection as the cat similarly leans itself into you, so trusting and vulnerable in your warmth. it begins purring the second you scratch behind its ears.

reo feels his heart squeeze at the sight, rendering itself utterly helpless to your charm and kindness. he knows how hard it is to get a cat to trust people, even as kittens, so he can't imagine how many hoops you had to jump through to get a grown cat to love you back. the journey could not have been easy, especially with how rough this cat's life has been.

it feels like 6 out of 9 of them have been used up, but reo feels warmed knowing that at least it'll have an incredible 3 with you.

he knows because even though reo may not have 9 lives, you make his one feel indescribable.

[toshkakoshka]

okay but hobie also having sensitive hands?? Like the palms of his hands are super soft and sensitive but his fingers are a bit calloused from playing his music-

But Pavi & Hobie are just holding hands when Pav just aimlessly starts tracing his palms and wrists. Hobie just tried to ignore it but after a while, he’s trying to pull away and is avoiding looking at Pavitr.

So Pavi gets worried as hell, asking if this is too much or making Hobie uncomfortable when this interaction follows:

“J-just stop moving your hands and hold mine!”

‘But am I bothering you? We don’t have to!’

“P-Pav! It’s- My hands are tingling when you do that..”

Pavitr looks and notices what he’s actually doing, ‘Hobie…does it-‘ And he’s cut off but continually lightly tracing his hands again.

“N-no! Don’t d- P-pahahav plehease, it-“

‘Ohh so they’re just ticklish! You have such soft hands for a musician, I wouldn’t think here would be so bad! Stop complaining, you love this! Your blush is showing, Tickle bug~’

“PAV-“

-Silly goose anon 🪿

AWWW OH MY GOD IM GONNA CRY.. "YOUR BLUSH IS SHOWING, TICKLE BUG" YEAH IMMA INCORPORATE THAT INTO MY BELIEF SYSTEM

please and pav wouldn't stop at tracing them either he'd KISS them because it also makes hobie jump and hobie loves-hates it now that pav has more leeway into finding his weaknesses LMAOOOO

[alpineshift]

I’m the eldest of three with a youngest brother who is way too tall (should be illegal) - maybe I can offer some insight into the youngest brother dynamic?

My brother is the epitome of no fucks given. Like genuinely he will nope out of any and all friends/family drama with such expertise I’m kinda jealous. But he is the most nosey mf known to man - he had weekly gossip sessions with a college classmate who always had the highest quality tea. It’s impressive how he’s idgaf & tell me everything simultaneously.

And he’s very chill so if someone disagrees with him he’ll just agree to disagree and keep doing whatever he wants to do. Like “sure bud you can think that, but ima do it anyway”.

He also eats all the food - and because he’s so tall his “it’s right in front of you” shelf is an entire shelf above the shelf at my eye level, so we bicker a lot about where things are because I can’t fucking see them or reach them without a chair (he hides the good snacks on his eye-level shelf for that reason).

BUT and this is the big one

The fucks that were not given do eventually add up and result in a tantrum of such monumental proportions that I genuinely took a holiday until he calmed down.

I don’t know if all youngest siblings are like this but I’ve met enough now to think it is fairly typical.

Hope this helps!

- 🏈

(He has pillow shaped like a football & named it Gary, little bros are weird man idk)

oh my goodness ahaha the LORE. thank you for this lovely insight into a younger sibling experience.

the "no fucks given" makes me laugh bc I immediately think back to the interview w/ Jack and Luke where Luke's going meh I just wear whatever in terms of his gear and Jack had to interrupt the hosts to go WHY would you SAY that and proceeds to go on a whole tangent about how if he's in gear more often than his street clothes he wants to feel comfortable about it. and Luke is just nodding along placidly going "sure w/e" LOL

hiding snacks out of reach is so sibling tier bickering omg. I hope you've managed to score some goodies over the years out of determination.

envisioning jack and luke bickering over whether or not luke even cares and luke is like I do just not the way you get all up in arms about it and jack is like then how 'bout you SHOW IT and they grumble and glower at each other only for luke to go over to jack's place with his favourite takeout for dinner and finds jack cooking his favourite dish that same night.

(but also little siblings growing up taller than you should be illegal indeed)

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

the way u depict platonic affection always has me on my knees sobbing- thank you for your service it heals my heart sm 😭

HEALS MY HEART TOO I ADORE PLATONIC CLOSENESS IM GLAD IT DOES THAT FOR U TOO

[httpiastri]

im crying so bad i hate f2 why is it always pepe 😭😭😭😭 tell me about your experience with him pls 🥨

1. i truly too hate f2 😭 esp because its ALWAYS PEPE 😭😭😭

2. this is such a bad pic but i thought i hadnt taken any pics but then i remembered a pic i took on thursday morning of all the bracelets i made sooooooo

idk i don’t like it a lot but 😭 good enough (and it didnt look like it was too tight around his wrist aaaaaaa so thankful)

3. I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO FOCUS ON HOW HE SMELLED AAAAAA I WAS TOO NERVOUS 😭 (and too focused on his hands-) i am pretty sure he smiled at me but it's all such a blur… plus he was definitely upset abt the races so :(( but no yes there were definitely smiles!!!!

4. okay story time!! i will try to cut this as short as possible but here we go!! sooo i was actually just casually strolling down the f3 paddock for no reason when i just happened to look into the campos tent and there he was !! he and sebastian just stood and chatted for a long time looking all cute as always, and i was cursing myself for putting the bracelet i wanted to give him in another bag because this is such a lovely opportunity……. but i rushed away the like 200 meters to my bag and got the bracelet and when i got back they were still there!! and then after a while of waiting they were separating and pepe got onto his little electrical scooter and was about to drive off and i was heartbroken because nooo what if he just drives off in another direction and i have no way to catch up?? (i was standing a bit away from the truck because i didnt wanna bother them too much)

and like there were two separate ways to the f2 truck… and what are the odds that he chose the way that was right where i was standing? like he was driving exactly up to me??? so i just took a deep breath and said his name… he had so much speed that he drove past me, and he just as well couldve pretended not to hear or just looked back and said "hi" before keeping driving, but he turned around and drove back to me 🥺 and so i asked if i could give him a bracelet and he said "of course!" 🥺 and i said i was sorry about the weekend but that he would come back in monza and just 😭 wait i actually cant write about this without tearing up a little 😭😭 idk he was just super sweet and we chatted real quick about the future and he was so cute and i just 😭😭😭😭 like i said, he seemed a bit upset still about the weekend (very understandable!!!) but he still seemed a bit optimistic! and as he drove off, he wished me a great day and i just 🫠🥺😭🥰🫨😭😭😭

[persephoneprice]

i loved your headcanons about clemensia & felix & co.

(same anon btw)

i would love to know more abt like the tragic ones thO!

ah my friend you’re back! i’m glad that you enjoyed me trying my best to let felix be happy. NOW lets make him sad, shall we?

felix & clemensia & co - but worse!

→ felix marries clemensia out of necessity rather than love. he’s not unhappy but he’s not really happy either.

→ he’s terrified when clemensia announces that she’s expecting. in a brief moment of utter panic he considers running away to the districts.

→ felix would never, ever admit it but he hates the snake scales that remain on clemensia. it’s not her fault and he doesn’t ever make her feel bad- but he can’t help that he finds the snake thing repulsive.

→ also because the snakes remind him of festus. right after festus was eliminated, he and felix had a long talk in festus’s room. festus cried for nearly an hour about how sick it was to watch the snakes get coral.

→ clemensia has mood swings. they’re not as bad as the years go on- but sometimes it feels like you have to walk on eggshells in the dovecote-ravinstill home.

→ clemensia & felix die when their children are young. felix doesn’t have any relatives left so the dovecotes take them in and raise them.

→ they grow up knowing clemensia and feeling her presence thanks to her parents. they get old journals and photos and hear stories all the time.

→ there’s no one who knew felix well enough to really tell them who he was. their father is a distant figure to them growing up and they never really get a chance to know who he was as a person.

[tickle-bugs]

For the warmup prompts can you do Beetlejuice and Lydia (platonic! I do not ship them romantically in any way whatsoever) with the dialogue of “I bet I can get you to say my name.” If not, I totally understand!

So for people who haven’t seen/listened to the musical the vibe is completely different from the movie LMAO less “this is our weird uncle beetlejuice the family won’t talk to him he’s wanted by the feds and can’t come within 500 feet of the house” and more “cool but still weird cousin beetlejuice who collects strange rocks, is always in danger of being actively actively on fire, and is wayyy too into dark humor”. It’s a good show! If you like comedy musicals with a rock lean to the soundtrack, you’ll probably like it. It’s got a Little Shop of Horrors sensibility to it, I think. 

If anyone tags this as ship w/ Lydia and Beetlejuice I will crawl out of your screen like the girl from the ring and gnaw on your bones I’m so serious

AU where the plot of this show doesn’t take like. A week LMAO. Basically Lydia hasn’t said BJ’s name yet but she also hasn’t decided what to do with her dad yet. So they’re at an impasse. Lydia regularly goes to hang out in her haunted attic and lament because Delia won’t go up there, thus making it safe. Beetlejuice keeps doing Say My Name-style ad pitches to get Lydia to summon him properly but he’s not very good at it. 

EDIT: FORGOT THE BODY HORROR WARNING OOPS!! It’s very mild but just in case anyone needs it <;3

Full-Time Spectres

Lydia’s life is far from conventional, perfectly so, but she’s started to adapt to the strangeness in the walls of her house. She doesn’t have the one ghost she wants most of all, but she’s got three that do just fine for entertainment and scheming purposes. She’s gotten used to the cold spots, the occasional flicker of the lights, and Adam’s habit of walking through walls rather than doors--he figured out that he could and never wanted to stop. 

Some things she’ll never adjust to, though, like her attic being strewn with scraps of brutalized board games.

Monopoly’s been pinned to the wall with a knife, Ludo sits perfectly still on a shelf with suspicious-looking green liquid in the shot glasses, and a chess board hovers in the air, eternally aflame. It’s a massacre and she doesn’t know where half of these things came from. 

“What’s, uh…what’s happening here?” Lydia kicks the door shut behind her. The door creaks open. She kicks it closed again with a frown.

Adam looks up and squints at the door. His eyes dart around as if he can see the schematics of it and diagnose the problem from halfway across the room. Lydia allows herself a tiny smile. 

“Adam’s teaching me to play checkers.” Beetlejuice beams, which is unsettling in itself. 

“Well, I tried to reach him to play chess, then a few other things…it didn’t go well.” Adam pushes his glasses up his nose and surveys the board in front of them. He captures one of Beetlejuice’s pieces with a triumphant little ‘aha!’.

Beetlejuice takes a long, pensive look at the board. Very thin tendrils of smoke curl out of his ears as he tries to decide which piece to play. Adam, sweet Adam, goes to help him make an advantageous move, but Beetlejuice shushes him. 

“What are you doing?” Lydia sidles over to Barbara, who fumbles with an old lamp. She sets it down before she can shatter it. 

“Well, it was going to be a surprise but…” Barbara gestures excitedly to a small nook in the attic. She’s rearranged various boxes of her former belongings to build a shoddy sort of booth. A heavy, ugly floral curtain hangs precariously over the doorway. 

“It’s a dark corner!” Lydia gasps sarcastically. 

“No—well, yes, but it’s supposed to be a kind of mini dark room? I don’t know much about them but I know you’re always taking pictures.” Barbara shifts awkwardly.

Oh. Oh. 

Lydia cradles her camera in her hands, running her thumb along the outside. The pebbled texture is a kiss to her fingertips. If she concentrated hard enough, she can remember the feeling of her mom’s warm hands over her own, showing her how to hold the camera. 

“If you don’t like it—“ 

“You made this for me?” She whispers. She tries to swallow the lump in her throat. 

“Still workin’ on it, but yes.” Barbara gestures lamely. 

“You…didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing but time. Might as well use it right.” Barbara shrugs. Lydia bounces on her toes.

“I’ve still, um, gotta clear out all of our junk. Adam and I don’t need it anymore, not really, and you need room to breathe. I know it’s not much, but--”

Lydia crashes into Barbara for a hug. She’s icy to the touch, but her touch is the most comforting thing Lydia can imagine. Barbara pulls her in close, cradling the back of her head with her cool hands. There is no heartbeat in her chest, but Lydia can feel that it’s not empty.  

A memory of her mother prickles at the back of her mind. She pushes it down. 

“Do you want help?” Lydia pulls away and looks towards the dark room, ignoring the twinge of grief in her gut. She can see its potential around the edges.

“It’s your surprise! You can’t help with that!” Barbara gasps, affronted. 

The curtain falls heavily from the hooks and thumps into the ground. A plume of dust kicks up and Lydia coughs. 

“Okay. Maybe you can.” Barbara scratches her head. Together, she and Lydia hoist the heavy curtain back into precarious-looking hooks embedded in the wall. As they back away from it, silently begging it to stay in place, Beetlejuice sits up ramrod straight. 

“Adam, Barbara’s throwing away your coin collection,” Beetlejuice gasps and points over Adam’s shoulder.

“What? They’re vintage!” Adam whirls around. Beetlejuice moves a bunch of pieces around, making a bunch of captures, and eats a piece for good measure. He winks at Lydia. She fondly rolls her eyes. 

“You know I would never.” Barbara says. Adam deflates. She kisses his forehead. He grumbles a little but accepts it.

When Adam turns back to the board, Lydia has the express joy of watching him go through the five stages of grief in real time. He looks from Beetlejuice to the board in sheer despair. 

“Why do you keep eating the pieces?” Adam puts his head in his hands. 

“Because, Adam dearest, it makes you mad.” Beetlejuice pats his shoulder solemnly. Lydia snorts.

“Well, I’m officially out of games.” Adam pats his thighs and stands. He ambles over to Barbara and appraises the curtain. He puts his hands on his hips and starts muttering about supports and tracks. Lydia tries to follow along but her eyes near-instantly glaze over. 

“Sooooo, Lydia.” Beetlejuice slides over to her. “Have you given my offer any more thought?”

“You still haven’t given me a convincing argument. Calling yourself ‘the worst of the best’ isn’t exactly a glowing review.” Lydia wrinkles her nose. 

“These two like me!” Beetlejuice points at the Maitlands. Barbara gives a teasing ‘meh’ gesture just to see him splutter in offense. She laughs softly. 

“I’ll admit, I’m coming around on him.” Adam chuckles. 

“Thank you, Adam. Mwah.” Beetlejuice blows a kiss in his direction. Adam turns a little pink and goes back to working on the curtain. Barbara whispers something in his ear that makes him turn even pinker. 

“They like anyone. I’ve met cardboard with stronger opinions than them.” Lydia scoffs, then turns. “No offense.” 

Adam and Barbara both shrug. 

“Fair point. Counteroffer: you hate your dad, I hate your dad, let’s kill him.” Beetlejuice gives his most enthusiastic jazz hands. Lydia stares at him blankly. 

“Denied.” She pushes his hands out of the way. 

“On what grounds?”

“On the grounds that you suck. Your fate hinges on me and you can’t even get me to say your name. You spend all your time cheating at board games because you need me more than I need you. That’s pretty lame for a big, scary demon,” Lydia says mockingly, curling her fingers into claws. When Beetlejuice gives her the finger, she gives two right back with a smirk. 

“Lydia, be nice,” Barbara chides, goosing Lydia’s side. She yelps and smacks her hand away. 

Beetlejuice gasps. Lydia slowly meets his sparkling eyes. 

“No.” Lydia points at him. Beetlejuice smiles slowly, wicked and full of mischief. 

“I’ll kill you. I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you--”

Lydia steps back, Beetlejuice steps forward, and all hell breaks loose. Lydia springs over a pile of Maitland junk and ducks under Adam’s arm. She shoves him into Beetlejuice’s path.

Beetlejuice simply picks Adam up and deposits him elsewhere like a Maitland mannequin. He squeaks and leaps out of the way of their chase.  

The two of them circle each other around an unbuilt dining room table kit, Lydia just barely keeping out of arm’s reach. She bolts past a dilapidated spin-your-own-yarn kit and dives through Barbara’s legs to hide behind her. 

Beetlejuice stops and visibly considers the consequences of doing the same. Barbara gives him a withering look. He tries to circle around her, but Lydia’s excellent at moving her around like a meat shield. Beetlejuice visibly starts scheming. 

Barbara looks at Lydia, looks back at him, and slides out of the way. 

“Barbara!” Lydia screeches in outrage but there’s not enough time to screech and run. He grabs her and pulls her into a bear hug. 

“Thank youuuu, Babs!” Beetlejuice grins at her. She shakes her head fondly and honorably discharges herself from the battlefield. 

“Hey Lydia…I bet I can get you to say my name.” He cackles evilly. Lydia hisses at him, but damn it, she’s already giggling nervously. He swoops his hands over her stomach, wiggling his fingers but not quite touching. 

“B-Beetlejuice!” She squeaks and rocks up onto her toes in lieu of running. 

“That’s one!” He singsongs, finally touching down on her stomach. She folds into his hands—unwise, really—and curses Beetlejuice to the high heavens and below. 

“Think we should help her?” Adam leans over to Barbara. They both watch Lydia worm around in Beetlejuice’s arms, not making much of an escape attempt despite the volume of her threats. 

“Nah.” Barbara moves a crate of nearly-unused embroidery hoops out of the way with tender care. The curtain collapses again. Both Maitlands sigh. 

“Beetlejuice, you fucker!” Lydia growls, but quickly loses it to laughter. He’s doing this infuriating little pinchy-thing to her sides, one that makes her leap clear off the ground each time. She tosses her head back and cackles, her whole face scrunched with the force of it. 

God, she hasn’t laughed like this since…well, it’s been a while. She’d forgotten that she could. 

“Eh, that probably counts. One more!” Beetlejuice finds a deathly spot on her lower ribs and decides not to leave it alone. 

“Beeeeeeeeeeeee--AHHH!” 

“Hm, yeah. See, now we’re gonna have to start over.” Beetlejuice tasers her sides, right at that spot, and feigns disapproval. Lydia makes a noise at a pitch audible only to dogs and demons. 

Crunch. 

Lydia’s foot connects directly with his face in a frankly-stunning high kick. He drops her roughly. Something goes flying across the room and hits the wall with a quiet thump. Barbara gasps sharply and covers her mouth in shock. 

Beetlejuice touches his nose—or rather, the space where it used to be, and a thick hush falls over the attic. Everyone’s eyes drift to the nose, now fallen among jars of the most rancid-looking kombucha on the face of the earth. It twitches plaintively. 

He laughs, loud and boisterous. His lack-of-nose whistles as he does. Adam picks up the fallen nose and gags before tossing it to Lydia and wiping his hands on his shirt. 

“Got your nose,” Lydia giggles weakly, depositing it into Beetlejuice’s hand. 

“Nice shot.” Beetlejuice chuckles, uncomfortably nasally, and shoves his nose back into place with an awful crack. He takes a long, wheezing inhale and gives her a thumbs up. 

“So…” He sidles close to her, bringing back the jazz hands. 

“No.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” He sighs. 

“Lydia, are you alright?” Delia’s voice curls faintly up the rickety staircase. She climbs up, but not all the way—Lydia can tell by the shuffling of her awful shoes. 

Everyone freezes.

“Lydia?” 

She opens her mouth to answer Delia and Beetlejuice squeezes her sides. She yelps and whirls around, but he doesn’t even have the decency to feign innocence. He just does it again, waiting for the precise moment she goes to speak. 

“Y-Yeah, I’m o-okay.” Lydia wrestles with Beetlejuice’s hands, her voice shaking with barely-restrained giggles. 

“Oh god, please don’t make me come up there.” Delia’s ‘whisper’ is anything but. Beetlejuice snorts. 

“I’m fine! Just, uhm, doing spring cleaning.” Lydia calls back, stomping on Beetlejuice’s foot. He doesn’t even flinch. 

“Okay.” A long, heavy pause from Delia. 

“You can go now!” Lydia yells. Delia’s heels click quickly down the stairs, back towards the dreary living. 

“You’re insufferable,” Lydia hisses at Beetlejuice, punching his shoulder. He holds his hand over his heart and gives a grand, sweeping bow. When he stands up, he smacks his head against the dagger in the wall. Lydia snickers at him.

He turns around like a penguin, never one to do things normally, and makes a delighted noise at the pierced Monopoly board. He pulls the knife out of the wall and pokes his finger with it a few too many times, fascinated with the sharpness of it. 

He stretches, makes a bunch of vague measurement and aiming gestures, then lobs the knife straight upwards. It lodges into the ceiling with an enthusiastic ping! The blade warbles with the force of it.

Beetlejuice slaps the Monopoly board down on the floor and plops down in front of it. Adam bemoans the state of the attic ceiling as Barbara consoles him. 

“Wanna play?” Beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the board changes, shifting into black, whites, purples, and greens. Graveyard moss creeps along the edges of the board. Monopoly components spawn into existence on the board, appearing in puffs of fog and comically-quiet wails of the damned. 

“Sure.” Lydia sits opposite him. She pokes at some of the moss. It sprouts to meet her touch. 

“If you get stabbed, you lose?” Beetlejuice casts a cursory glance to the still-wobbling knife. The blade shifts slightly out of the ceiling. 

“Deal.” Lydia sticks her hand out to shake. Beetlejuice takes it with gusto. 

“You guys wanna play?” Lydia turns to the Maitlands. Barbara and Adam look at each other, communicating in that telepathic way of theirs. Barbara grins and leads Adam over to the board to sit. 

“I call thimble!” Adam reaches for it. Beetlejuice swats his hand. Adam reaches again. Beetlejuice swats him a little harder. 

“You can’t have the thimble. I’m the thimble.” Beetlejuice pinches it between his fingers. 

“Can I have the thimble?” Barbara leans close to Beetlejuice and looks up at him through her lashes. Lydia never would’ve guessed that a demon could blush, but sure enough, Beetlejuice’s face takes on the slightest bit of color. 

“I sense that I’m being manipulated.” He narrows his eyes. 

“Is it working?” Barbara smiles. 

“Yep.” He slaps the thimble into her hand. She passes it to Adam. He beams. Beetlejuice rolls his eyes but his gaze lingers on them for just a bit too long. 

“Well played, Babs. Well played.” Beetlejuice scoops up the racecar piece and frowns at it. Its tiny metal form melts and reconfigures into a small hearse. Satisfied, he places it right next to the cat piece—Lydia’s, of course. Barbara takes the top hat with pride. 

When Beetlejuice jumps Adam for his extra get out of jail free card—of which there are a suspicious amount in Beetlejuice’s version of the game—Lydia laughs and swipes a bit of Beetlejuice’s money. Adam’s hiccupy cackles are the backdrop for Barbara robbing the bank in broad daylight, taking as many bills from the tray as her heart desires. 

Lydia’s life is certainly very strange and painfully unusual, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She can only hope that her mom will love being part of the attic’s menagerie of ghosts and ghouls as much as she does. 

[clare-with-no-i]

You bringing up theogony!James during a solar eclipse/earthquake just makes me imagine him being a protective dad during a solar eclipse/earthquake. Literally can’t get bb Charis/Harry and his whole family off my mind. Bless you for Theogony once again✨

unfortunately he would be flipping his entire lid while Lily tries repeatedly to stop Sirius from staring directly at the sun because “Apollo has clearly never been weaker” and he “fears no god so easily thwarted by his twin sister”

[oxavane]

Your lucifer has me in a chokehold

oh me too anon, me too

[eightyuh]

Handing you a blanket and bringing you your preferred beverage and asking you to stretch and rest your eyes and bringing you a snack and

thank u, kind stranger... 😭

[dipperscavern]

https://www.tumblr.com/ccscocoapuffs/763309223874625536/kinktober-day-3-overstim-robb-stark

good morning why can’t it be meeee -📰

the dacryphilia mention…… oh me likey (robb stark dacryphilia real)